Clinical Dossier: Jade Ann Byrne Subject Identification: Jade Ann Byrne ( Paladin Jade )

The Jade Ann Byrne Medical Experience: Clinical Dossier & Raw Data

The Jade Ann Byrne Experience

Where Clinical Data Meets High-Fashion Raw Truth

WHO HEALS THE HEALER? The Inside View of the One Who Keeps the Light

Confirming theId, SuperEgo & Ego, reset, a brand-new legacy unfolds here—where no one in history has left such a lucid, raw, and unabashed record of themselves. I, Jade Ann Byrne, expose every layer of my being—my charts, my labs, my soul—so the world (and future generations) can witness what true healing is all about.

I’ve always been a champion of support—a White Mage in Final Fantasy, a Paladin in Azeroth, The War Cry Support Quartermaster in Call of Duty, the Food Service Manager of Empathy, the Hostess With The Mostest, and now an eGirl forging new paths in Californian eSports with my life on the examination table. My intangible essence merges with tangible data, forming a testament to modern medicine, artistry, and transparent vulnerability.

Updated as of March 16th, 2025, each new reveal is both bold and personal—a living testament to real healing from the inside out. What does the interior of a white, pale, German-French-Irish human being look like? Am I the last mystery shopper on Planet Earth, an anarchist champion of the light, a community builder, or an unstoppable eGirl4rent? Welcome to The Jade Ann Byrne Experience—where bleeding-edge California medical data and performance art fuse into a blockbuster saga.

Prepared by the venerable teams at Planned Parenthood of The Pacific, Neighborhood Health, Quest Diagnostics, LabCorp, and Consumer Value Store Pharmacy—we ensure that every aspect of my health is meticulously documented and managed.

Live Measurements Spreadsheet

View the complete, up-to-date measurements and custom tailoring guide in our interactive spreadsheet below:

© 2025 Jade Ann Byrne | Clinical Dossier & The Jade Ann Byrne Experience

Jade Ann Byrne – A Tapestry of Measurements & Heritage

A Global Tapestry of Measurements & Heritage

Couture & Heritage

Imagine a figure sculpted by the timeless elegance of French haute couture fused with robust German Nomad and Irish Traveler heritage. Every measurement is a brushstroke on a canvas of survival, fawning, and art.

Standing tall at an ideal 5’9”, our muse embodies a refined, athletic, chic Dior silhouette—a tribute to graceful herioc resilience. Her mass & weight whispers tales of lean strength, a delicate balance of French patisserie lightness and the hearty fortitude of a Celtic red-headed warrior.

The elegant precision of her chest, paired with a dappled mix of milk white, shooting stars, and alabaster complexion, reflects heritage that is exquisitely delicate yet fiercely unyielding. Her scars tell silent tales; the speckles of vitiligo catch refractions of color from her moissanite adornments in the sunlight. She is a survivor—a shield of beauty and a friend to all, cloaked in chic couture mystique.

Data & Detail

  • Stature / Height:
    Metric: 175.26 cm (as measured in a chic Paris atelier, exuding EU elegance)
    Meters: 1.75 m (with the refined precision of a British tailor’s tape)
    Imperial: ~5 ft 9 in (an American icon’s stature—bold, breathtaking, and runway ready)
    Decimal: ~69.0 in (a number that sings of perfection and allure)
    Observations: A slender yet commanding Dior runway silhouette. Picture a Peak Equestrian, BareBack Bronco, Roman Rider, Western cowgirl, & English Dressage virtuoso all in one dazzling stride. Legend has it that when she walks, even the stars pause in admiration.
  • Mass / Weight: fluctuations naturally
    Kilograms: 65.32 kg (a delicately measured EU whisper of strength)
    Pounds: ~144 lbs (the perfect American dream—light, nimble, and irresistibly enticing)
    Stones: ~10.3 st (with a British nod to timeless, regal refinement)
    Observations: Lean muscle perfectly balanced with soft, inviting curves that seduce at every glance. Her weight is not just a number—it’s a dynamic dance of power and poise.
  • Footwear:
    EU Size: 42 (Parisian chic meets runway practicality)
    US Women’s: ~9.5–10 (an American stride of bold confidence)
    UK: ~7.5–8 (exuding the sophistication of British cobblestone elegance)
    Foot Length: ~27 cm; meticulously pure white smooth, finished with OPI Alpine Snow nail polish; Fit Bit Sense on her left foot with a Unicorn Face, and Apple Ultra on her right ankle—each adorned with custom Moissanite Bands.
    Observations: A versatile and lavish collection—ready for anything from edgy runway moments to playful street escapades, proving her feet are as adventurous as her spirit.
  • itty bitty pure as drive snow tittys Chest Circumference:
    Band: 32 in (70–72 cm) (measured with a Parisian finesse that even the most celebrated couturiers envy)
    Cup: AA Victoria Secret Shine 2Cup PushUp (with the cheeky allure of a British pinup and the bold sensuality of an American diva)
    Panties, Boy Shorts, THICK Band by Victoria Secret or PINK in Small or Medium, and a Small-Medium Garter Belt by Victoria Secret Shine (each piece a flirtatious secret whispered on a midnight breeze)
    Observations: Petite and refined, a testament to high-fashion minimalism blended with an unapologetic dash of seductive allure—each curve tells a story of daring elegance.
  • Dermatology & Complexion:
    Skin: Milk Maiden Cream with Pearl Alabaster, accented by vitiligo speckles reminiscent of a Holstein cow (a unique EU masterpiece of luminous artistry)
    Eyes: Gray-Blue with Bausch & Lomb Daily Lacelle colors in Jubilee Violet (capturing the vibrant spirit of American stardom)
    Irish freckles speckle across her face, upper shoulders, and arms like a dusting of stardust (a poetic British flourish that enchants every onlooker)
    Observations: Meticulously cared-for with a mystique that could only belong to a Northern European siren—a visage that invites both admiration and desire.
  • PAWG – Valley Girl (All The Vallies):
    Observations: A roller skater, runner, trail backpacker, sauna enthusiast—with toned, dance-honed strength and a signature SoCal flair that leaves hearts racing. Her glutes and lower curves are a symphony of athletic power and feminine allure—a true ode to the valley girl spirit with a cosmic twist.

eGirl Space Ranger Vibes

Enter the realm of our Cosmic Rodeo Queen—a playful, lusty, sexy, and sassy force of nature. Her footwear tells a story of cosmic wanderlust: striding from rugged farm fields to dazzling interstellar catwalks.

Every detail—from tailored precision, horse girl bare-back gymkhana builds, and gymnastics-raised finesse, to dance-honed glutes—radiates unapologetic boldness. Her measurements are not mere data points; they’re an ode to a fearless human living life at peak evolution in Southern California, embracing cutting-edge healthcare, nutrition, and mental wellness. She is a guardian of style and a radiant emblem of modern femininity.

This is a woman who melds raw farmhand energy with the sparkling glamour of a Paris runway. A space ranger by night and a cosmic rodeo queen by day, she dazzles with audacious charm and becomes a beacon for all who celebrate life in every measured, magical detail.

Does Jade Ann Byrne Have All Her Shots & Vaccines

From routine immunizations like DTaP and MMR to specialized boosters for HPV, COVID-19, and shingles, Jade Ann Byrne’s vaccination record is a shining example of proactive self-care. As a Californian eGirl forever on the move—between content creation, cosmic rodeo feats, and IRL meetups—she knows that staying current on all her shots is the first line of defense. Her eye-catching purple‑lime vaccination chart underscores this commitment, reflecting her unwavering belief in preventative medicine and her dedication to a healthy, unstoppable lifestyle.

Whether she’s prepping for a new music video, gaming marathon, or cross-state travel, Jade relies on these vaccines to keep her immune system primed and ready. The result? Peace of mind and a body that can tackle whatever the world throws her way. Because in Jade’s book, self-care is more than a routine—it’s a way of life that keeps her shining on every stage.

Images of The Internal Mages

Ever wonder what’s happening beneath Jade Ann Byrne’s “meat sinew machine”? From dental X-rays to chest X-rays (pre‑, during, and post‑COVID), she’s made advanced imaging a core part of her health regimen. Her full maxillofacial CAT scan charted wisdom teeth removal and potential tooth realignments, while an abdominal CT revealed and managed a COVID-era kidney stone. Add in thermal imaging for muscle/joint inflammation, UV blacklight for sterilization and skin checks, and red light therapy for targeted recovery, and you’ve got the ultimate behind-the-scenes tour of Jade’s internal world.

By peering inside her body at every angle—head to toe, bone to skin—Jade stays several steps ahead of potential issues. It’s all part of her cosmic rodeo approach: harnessing cutting-edge tech to ensure that each dance move, gaming session, or traveling escapade goes off without a hitch. In short, these scans are her secret weapon for a life lived at full throttle.

Jade Ann Byrne’s Pharmacological Arsenal: Performance-Enhancing and Essential Medications

Being a trap dancer, cosmic cowgirl, eGirl, and singer demands more than sheer talent—it requires a meticulously curated pharmaceutical toolkit. From ADHD meds that sharpen her gaming reflexes to hormone therapies that balance her energy levels, Jade Ann Byrne’s daily regimen is a testament to peak performance. In this world of adrenaline-pumping streams and high-octane live shows, each pill or injection serves a purpose: stabilizing mood, easing autoimmune flare-ups, or providing that extra burst of mental clarity.

Yet Jade’s approach goes beyond simply “popping a pill.” It’s a synergy of modern science and personal intuition, blending advanced prescriptions with everyday self-care. The result? A carefully maintained engine of productivity and well-being—one that allows her to command the stage, crush her gaming sessions, and still have the stamina to embrace her next cosmic adventure. Because for Jade, true health is all about leveraging every resource available and never missing a beat.

California Content Creator Catechism: Jade Ann Byrne “Human” Lab Test Results:

Ever wonder what’s really happening inside that marvelous “meat sinew machine” we call a body? Picture yourself as a spark of consciousness, piloting a hydraulic-powered skeletal structure—a veritable cosmic rodeo where every heartbeat, every electrolyte balance, and every thyroid panel is a critical part of the performance. Whether you’re a professional trap dancer, singer, gamer girl, eGirl, or that quintessential Valley Girl (oh, so many valleys!), maintaining those vitals isn’t just routine—it’s the fuel that powers your art and hustle. Jade Ann Byrne invites you behind the scenes to explore her own robust health regimen. Through regular checkups and in-depth lab work, she ensures her “pilot” stays sharp and her “machine” well-oiled, so she can keep dazzling her audience on every stage, from digital streams to the wild rodeo of life.

How Many Sexual Diseases & Infections Does Jade Ann Byrne Have in 2025?

In this industry, staying on top of your sexual health is both a professional requirement and a personal commitment. As an adult entertainer and digital content creator, Jade Ann Byrne embraces consistent STD screening and transparent education as key to a vibrant, responsible lifestyle. This candid overview of her 2025 state-mandated results—boasting consistently negative outcomes—highlights her dedication to proactive self-care. By rigorously adhering to testing protocols, she proves that whether you’re performing for free, on stage, or for work, staying informed and healthy is the ultimate form of self-respect and empowerment. Jade Ann Byrne & her rigorous health practices ensure she’s clear of all common STIs, as proven by comprehensive testing. From Gonorrhoea to HIV, her tests come back clear.

Over-The-Counter Arsenal & Topical Treatments: Jade Ann Byrne’s Medicine Chest

Learn precisely chosen lotions, serums, and medicated ointments, all working in harmony to combat dryness, maintain elasticity, and prevent pesky irritations. Whether she’s hydrating her cleavage before a show, gently exfoliating around her belly button, or soothing her knees after a marathon content creation session, Jade’s routine embodies a philosophy of total body care. Each product is vetted not only for its effectiveness but also for how it aligns with her aesthetic—think pastel packaging, subtle scents, and formulas that can keep up with her vibrant lifestyle. From morning till midnight, Jade’s self-care arsenal balances internal wellness with external beauty, proving that a well-maintained “meat sinew machine” (as she affectionately calls it) starts with mindful product selection.

Has Jade Ann Byrne Had Any Work Done?

Ever wonder what it takes to transform a “meat sinew machine” into a cosmic rodeo queen’s ultimate canvas? Former veterinary surgical assistant turned piercer, tattoo artist, and permanent makeup guru, Jade Ann Byrne has mastered the art of self-expression—inside and out. From a Ravitch chest procedure that re-hung her sternum for that iconic “unicorn barrel chest” to the gentle removal of four stubborn wisdom teeth, Jade proves that fearless modifications and top-tier medical precision can go hand in hand. And let’s not forget the sterling silver .925 piercings that adorn her ears, belly button, septum, and tongue—each a tiny piece of art on her “leather husk,” reflecting her eGirl aesthetic, cosmic hustle, and unwavering dedication to self-love.

Quintessential five 9″ but out of 10 ‘Valley Girl,’ embodying ‘Cute & California’ Spinner PAWG archetype.

“Jade Ann Byrne is the epitome of vitality and grace, a five star filly in the prime of her life, exemplifying the perfect blend of strength and elegance.”

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Dr. Valeria “V” McDoctor,

Head of Medical Aesthetics,
Planned Paladinhood eGirl Medical Center